You are walking down the street and you find yourself staring at a woman's mane of hair. You feel a bit like a stalker because all you want to do is look at her hair from every angle. You almost want to touch it. It is the perfect texture. The way the light hits her hair is mesmerizing. It has a glow and a shimmer that seem to come from within. The combination of tones is perfectly balanced. Even the "too bright" highlight that perpetually falls in her eye is seductive. Her hair is perfect.

Then you catch a glimpse of yourself in a store window and your heart sinks. You feel like a total loser. Your hair just doesn't have the vibrancy of the woman's hair that made your heart melt. Yours looked great in the bathroom mirror when you blew it out this morning, but now you know it's not even close to the perfection of your dream hair. Your hair texture is very fine and it separates. Instead of a mane of hair, you have wispy hair that seems to become invisible as it grows long. And the color looks blah. It's not a strong all-over color or a tone-on-tone color with depth and dimension. It's just a blend of colors that mesh together and don't seem to be doing much to brighten your face.

What is wrong with this picture? Why don't you have the hair you long for? Are you genetically deficient or totally incompetent with a hair brush and spray? I suspect that neither of these things is true. You may not think you have the hair you deserve, but I bet you have the hair that is right for your face.
TIP - Accept your hair's texture and color family to let its true beauty come through. Your motto to true beauty should be: "Lose the battle and win the war! Accept your God-given hair, and make the most of it."

One of the biggest problems that women have with their hair is their own reluctance to accept its texture. You might think it's too fine and flat, or frizzy, kinky or curly -- or a combination of the above. Basically, what this means is that many of you probably torture your hair daily to make it look like something it's not. Most women become bored with their look and like to play dress-up or dress-down with their hair. There is nothing wrong with this if it's done on an occasional basis. Change is exciting and fun. But it becomes a problem if you can't leave the house without an hour-long blow dry, or if you have to visit your salon more than three times a week. This means you have a serious problem and it's time to rethink the style and cut of your hair. Tortured hair is damaged hair. Damaged hair is never pretty. It should be avoided at all costs.

Lusting for another person's hair color, especially when it doesn't relate to your own color at all, is the best reason to proceed with caution. Everyone's hair takes to color differently. The color you end up with depends on varying factors. These can include your natural hair color, hair that has already been colored, the amount of grey hair you have, and the texture of your hair. Everyone's hair color is unique.
WARNING - Even though we can make dramatic color changes with today's hair color technology, it's usually not a good idea. More dramatic change usually results in hair that is more difficult to maintain, turns brassy quickly, and ends up in rough condition. It is almost always better to pick a new hair color that relates to your natural color. This will guarantee that it will complement your complexion. Besides the obvious reason of covering grey, this is why we color our hair. We want our skin to look radiant. We want to look the best we can.

If you do find yourself in love with someone else's color, and you find yourself lusting for a change, always proceed with caution. The color you are dreaming of is probably not the color you should have. Some of our best fantasies are best left alone. Remember the expression, "Always be careful what you wish for." It's usually true.

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More from Louis Licari:

• Better Hair in 2008!
• Hair Color Rehab
• Hair Makeunders

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